Profound thanks to all of you

So many of you responded so kindly to my posts about Caddy, that instead of trying to answer them all I decided to do one global thank you note to express how much I appreciated the good wishes, kind words and warm thoughts. Y'know what surprised me most was that Caddy had such a fan club, even among those who had never met him! Not that he didn't deserve it, mind you, but wow, I had no idea.

I'm doing okay with this because I know I did what was right for him. I'm almost doing better than some of my friends. Every time I talk to Charles or Wilson, I can hear that they're close to tears. But last night, when I was dreading having to go to bed knowing he wouldn't be there (I've slept with a CatHat for most of the last 13 years after all) I heard him sneeze. I mean it was distinctly a cat sneeze and there are no other cats in this place. It was Caddy. So I felt better about sleeping and slept really well, and I woke up to music from Candide, specifically Cunegonde's aria "Glitter and Be Gay" and the overture. Oddly, I've always thought those two pieces were Caddy's theme music. They were so like him. (Seriously. Listen to those and you'll know exactly what he was like.) I felt as if I was being told that everything was cool, that he was happy and safe.

Special shout-outs go to Dawn, of course, who kept me going with her kindness, leftovers and hand-holding (Because eating? Not the worst idea in the world. But I was having a hard time caring about anything but Caddy.) Pam for common sense, anxiety reduction, and also hand-holding; Dr. Jewell for all his help and kindness, and comforting presence; and to JK for being a great big bro to someone he's never even met. But you've all been great and I just appreciate the heck out of you. I've said it before and I will continue to say it: I don't know how or why I have such wonderful luck with my friends, but I'm grateful.

So now I'm going to go do some housework before I work myself up into a tiz. Just... y'know, thanks.