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A beautiful day in the neighborhood...
Jul. 2nd, 2009 07:28 amSo... interesting morning already. Dawn, on her way out to work, discovers a mysterious suitcase in front of our house. She calls 311, they disconnect her. So she calls 911 and says "Listen... it's probably nothing but we just put a "I support gay marriage" sticker on the door, and who knows what sort of nut-jobs are out there? What if it's a bomb?" So they promise to send someone out.
She calls me, tells me that the bomb squad will be coming and she's on her way to work. I say "Huh?" She then says "Oh... maybe I should stay." I say "Yes, Sebastian, I think you'd better had." (Eddie Izzard fans may get that. Apologies to the rest of you.) I throw on clothes and meet her in the hallway to wait. And wait, and wait. Now, Caddy's asleep in his little tower right in the front, by the windows, but do I think about pulling him to safety? No. Does she run upstairs to put her babies in their stroller just in case we need to make a quick getaway? No. She does admit that she moved the suitcase away from the house. I observe that she's still alive which bodes well for it not being on a hair trigger.
Finally the police arrive. One squad car. They stare at the suitcase from the car, and we can see them smiling, so of course we start laughing because at six-thirty in the morning, before coffee has been ingested, even the possibility of being blown to bits is mildly hilarious. A very cute cop gets out, walks around the suitcase, laughs, picks it up and throws it in the trunk. Then they take off.
Dawn and I are weeping with laughter by now. She observes that it probably was lost luggage delivered to the wrong house in the dark. I observe that that may be so, but if we hear an explosion and see bits of squad car flying past we'll be very glad we called. We wonder briefly if it might be body parts instead.
We get hold of ourselves, she gets ready to leave for work, and as we open the front door, the squad car shows up again. She goes down to talk to them, then heads off for the bus line. She calls me from there and tells me he was as cute close up as from a distance, but he probably thinks we're insane. Which we are, of course, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a bomb. I observe that it could have been the prayer flags as easily as the gay marriage sticker. Or a disgruntled gardener who hates us because our house is the prettiest one on the block. She says "You never know what sets people off, do you?"
The squad car hasn't come back around since she left. Oh well. There was probably a million dollars and a bunch of drugs in the suitcase. But as Dawn pointed out, we've seen "Shallow Grave." That wouldn't end well.
She calls me, tells me that the bomb squad will be coming and she's on her way to work. I say "Huh?" She then says "Oh... maybe I should stay." I say "Yes, Sebastian, I think you'd better had." (Eddie Izzard fans may get that. Apologies to the rest of you.) I throw on clothes and meet her in the hallway to wait. And wait, and wait. Now, Caddy's asleep in his little tower right in the front, by the windows, but do I think about pulling him to safety? No. Does she run upstairs to put her babies in their stroller just in case we need to make a quick getaway? No. She does admit that she moved the suitcase away from the house. I observe that she's still alive which bodes well for it not being on a hair trigger.
Finally the police arrive. One squad car. They stare at the suitcase from the car, and we can see them smiling, so of course we start laughing because at six-thirty in the morning, before coffee has been ingested, even the possibility of being blown to bits is mildly hilarious. A very cute cop gets out, walks around the suitcase, laughs, picks it up and throws it in the trunk. Then they take off.
Dawn and I are weeping with laughter by now. She observes that it probably was lost luggage delivered to the wrong house in the dark. I observe that that may be so, but if we hear an explosion and see bits of squad car flying past we'll be very glad we called. We wonder briefly if it might be body parts instead.
We get hold of ourselves, she gets ready to leave for work, and as we open the front door, the squad car shows up again. She goes down to talk to them, then heads off for the bus line. She calls me from there and tells me he was as cute close up as from a distance, but he probably thinks we're insane. Which we are, of course, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a bomb. I observe that it could have been the prayer flags as easily as the gay marriage sticker. Or a disgruntled gardener who hates us because our house is the prettiest one on the block. She says "You never know what sets people off, do you?"
The squad car hasn't come back around since she left. Oh well. There was probably a million dollars and a bunch of drugs in the suitcase. But as Dawn pointed out, we've seen "Shallow Grave." That wouldn't end well.
